Joe Arpaio Apologizes for Being an Asshole


(edited img via Flickr/Gage Skidmore)


Phoenix, AZ - Controversial Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio held a press conference outside his office on Monday and made some surprising statements. The controversial sheriff has made headlines by being an anti-immigration hardliner, terrorizing the undocumented community in Maricopa County forcing those imprisoned to wear hot pink jumpsuits and live and work in his tent prisons in the desert heat. However the statements he made earlier today could indicate a change in attitude toward immigration. 

Sheriff Arpaio has come out in full support of immigration reform stating that he believes immigrants should have an opportunity to stay in this country. The Sheriff didn’t stop here, he went as far as apologizing for his actions over the last couple years and indicated widespread and systematic changes in his department’s policy. “As of today we are releasing all detainees being held on immigration related charges. Each prisoner will be released by noon today and will be given back their belongings as well as a Maricopa county sheriff’s department t-shirt that says I survived Maricopa County Jail,” said Sheriff Arpaio. “To make amends for our wrong doings we are eliminating all the hot pink jumpsuits and we will actually have our officers including myself wear hot pink uniforms,” he added. 

It is yet unclear what has caused the sheriff to make this incredible shift in his department’s policy. Some of his colleagues believe that at his age, he may just be changing his tune. “Maybe he just realized how much of an a**hole he is and now wants to truly change his image and legacy,” said an anonymous source.

Detractors believe that he was finally visited by the spirit of La Llorona. The sheriff appeared shaken when making his statement and when asked directly about the rumored spiritual intervention he declined to comment and quickly ran inside his office.  


Happy April Fools


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  • commented 2013-04-01 20:30:05 -0700
    This has to be April Fools joke!!
  • commented 2013-04-01 13:12:58 -0700
    Please re-call him.